The Wound of Family
This wound often comes from childhood issues with the Mother, but it can also be due to the Father. As a child, did you experience some form of emotional malnourishment, abandonment or abuse? Early trauma may have created loneliness, emptiness and emotional pain. Today those experiences may have left you with a core belief that you’re unlovable, or have been abandoned. You may feel like love exists but you’re not able to find it. Or you think you’re unworthy of it, or simply have low self esteem. At its core, this wound comes from a lack of nurturing. Maybe you only pursue relationships with people you know you can’t be in a relationship with, or who are not interested, as a way of reinforcing that you’re unlovable. Maybe you decide to be single forever. Or you’re always in relationships, afraid of being alone, but once in them, you refuse to actually open up. You might be so afraid of losing the nurturing like you did in childhood, that you’re never trying to get it in the first place. Or maybe you’re going overboard nurturing everyone in your life. Are you smothering them? Becoming needy? It often results in someone who needs emotional attention and validation around the clock. They feel extra vulnerable around family members, and may act different to try and gain attention or praise. When what they’re really seeking is nurturing and acceptance. This wound results in a nagging feeling of emptiness and the person wants to fill this hole up. This is one of the reasons they over-idealize their partners, to distract from their own inner turmoil. But this doesn’t make for sustainable relationships, and when they have a breakup, it can feel like the end of the world. They feel like they have lost everything, that they can’t exist without the other person, because they used the relationship to compensate for their own wound.
Your superpower is that you’re one of the most lovable, loved and needed people. You are most likely the center of your family, friend group, or work environment, and people wouldn’t know how to go on without you.
